On Matthew 22:1-14, and (Inter)National Coming Out Day
The parable of the wedding banquet for me speaks to an invitation for all people, but also an invitation that is not without preconditions. First and foremost, we are expected to treat the host, and everyone present, with respect. This brings to mind Communion, which I feel very strongly is the heart of what Christianity is supposed to really be about. All are invited. The precondition is not who you are, or what path in life you are coming from, but how you treat the people around you when you are "at the banquet." There is also the way in which we respond to the invitation that must be considered. Those potential guests who ignore or reject the invitation do not enjoy the banquet. This should not be confused with a literal invitation into church, but rather an expression of God's invitation to each one of us, calling us to full life and wholeness. The other precondition is how you are present at the banquet. It's not enough to just show up.
The last few verses of this parable have often been interpreted in harmful ways. "Weeping and gnashing of teeth" naturally brings to mind so-called fire and brimstone preaching with its ultimate fear of hell as the natural end for all who do not believe the right things and fall in line with the right behaviors. The notion of the individual not properly garbed suggests an exclusivity - if you're not "saved", you'll be kicked out; if you're not straight, you'll be kicked out; if you're not this or that, you'll be kicked out. I would suggest that it's not about who you are, it's about how you are. In considering the teachings of Jesus as a whole, it is clear how we are expected to be in community with one another when present at God's banquet--love God fully, and love your neighbor as yourself. I've often wondered about this, as someone who has struggled with a lot of self-judgment and self-hatred. I don't want to think of my neighbor in the negative ways I have sometimes thought of myself.
I think that loving God fully is what teaches us to love ourselves fully. After all, it is in loving God fully that we discover God's love for us.
This is why I truly feel that coming out is a sacrament. In any of its many forms, around any aspect of one's authentic self, whether that is sexuality, race, gender, cultural heritage, spiritual beliefs, or simply as an ally to any who are marginalized for those reasons, or for any reason, God invites us to be our authentic self. God desires for us to each be our own authentic self, when we accept the invitation to God's banquet.
In a way, by coming out I claim myself as God claims me. I clothe myself in the garments of who I am - God-Bearing Bisexual White Celtic-Norse-Anglo Male Pagan-Gnostic-Christian Justice-Seeking Ally - and I do so proudly. At the same time, I honor each and every one of the different and beautiful garments that my fellow guests wear. I honor my host, who has invited me to the table as the beautiful person that I am, and I treat each and every person with that same dignity and love.
Wishing you Peace and Love for the beautiful person God created you to be,
Aramis
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Coning Out: Coming Clean
My usual reaction, when considering sexuality and the church, is that it doesn't mater. It's a non-issue. As Aramis stated, our prime directive is to love God wholly, and live our neighbors as ourselves.
But I have to remember, I'm spoiled by and sheltered within a United Methodist Church that also thinks sexuality is ilrelavant. It is relevant in many other senses, but I'm only dealing with my relationship with my church.
I've been an active member of New Life UMC for the past nine years. I've rarely worshiped at any another house. I never belonged to any other church. When I think of New Life UMC, I think of home, where I'm accepted for who I am: loving, generous, educated, queer (order means nothing), as God meant for me to be. I am made in God's image, my sexuality came from Him.
So today, to recognize Coming Out Day, when I head downtown to cast my vote early, I'll put an extra queer button on my scruffefd Levi jacket & bear it proudly with the sterling heart, and garnet starburst I've sown to the front of that jacket. And I'll thank God for my loving and accepting church family. They've fed me, clothed me, and took me in when my bio-family could no longer deal with who I am.
I became an advocate for the disenfranchised through New Life. We feed and cloth all who come to us in need. I write articles for a newspaper those without a residence peddle on the street. I've very close to those who come seeking relief from the tribulations they face daily on the street. They couldn't care less 'bout who I'm sleeping with. In that sense it is ilrelavent.
God keep New Life UMC. Keep up the good fight.
Wish you well in Coming Out Day
I wish you well in Coming Out Day. You sound like you have a wonderful church.
A few weeks ago, someone wrote a post urging gay catholic priests to come out, to show Catholics and the church authority the contradictions in their teaching. I think a coming out day would have the most effect on conservative churches. In the evangelical church I once attended, I observed two types of Christians. One group believed homosexuality was a sin but had gay friends and family members and sincerely struggled with loving their friends and family while maintaining their position against homosexuality. The other group thought homosexuality was a sin and just hated gays and lesbians. And of course there were those who were either gay or supported gay rights and kept their mouths shut about it.
A coming out day would be good not just for gay christians but also for those christians who have gay friends and family members and feel pressure from their more conservative churchgoers to give up on those relationships. I was hiking with some friends yesterday and someone mentioned that they recently went to Disneyland during a gay weekend. I mentioned that I have a close gay friend but that he's a good guy, and my wife called me out on it. She said, "Are you saying that he's a good guy in spite of the fact that he's gay?" and I was suitably embarassed about my comment. During my time at that evangelical church I developed a defensiveness from having to justify having gay and lesbian friends to some of the members. My wife told me that I shouldn't have had to justify my friendships with anyone and she's right.
A coming out day would force some of the more conservative church goers to face up to any prejudice that they may have.
Angelo