A Christian by belief
I don't know how often I will be posting here because there are already a few places that I go to. The reason I am a Christian by belief and not religion is because of the life I have lead and how I feel about Christianity as a whole. You see I am Transgender which makes a lot of people hate me. I believe in honesty and that is one reason I wish to be honest here about who I am.
I have a family that is the same as me. The reason I call them my family is because we gain support from each other. We also help each other out and never focus on ourselves when a friend is in need. It is because of our strong bonds that we have become family and I will protect them with my life. You see they are as much my strength as my belief in God is. This is why I also can't be a full Christian because many believe my life is sin, but I believe personally God wanted me to follow this path.
Because of my interactions have seen the heart and soul of others. I do not judge those that hate me and do not blame others for the hate which they feel towards me. As a society we have allow ourselves to believe that Christianity is the rule of law, but to my friends and family they see fear in those who want to take away their rights and freedom. Again I do not blame Christianity for this, but the misconceptions of society. I am a Christian because I am willing to walk the dangerous line that it brings me.
The Bible itself has lead to some of these problems because people have tried to interrupt it as how they feel and then teach their meaning. It isn't their fault that mistakes are made, but because the bible itself is complex it holds many morals. Some of the stories are good and some of the stories are bad. I do have a bible of my own in my room. I do read every now and then, but instead of trying to live by the bible I try to live by the heart.
By this I mean I am willing to forgive those who do wrong upon to me. I took a oath at a very young age to do no harm upon to another. If it meant killing someone else in order to save my own life I would accept the death of my own life without regret. If my own death meant I could save this world I would gladly end my own life in order to save others. I know though my death can't save the world, but by living life I wish to leave messages behind for others to read and understand the heart of life. I am very political and do my best.
Please forgive me if I'm not the perfect Christian because I believe nobody can be. When I was 13 or 14 I did try to take my own life. People at school would pick on me because I was different and didn't know anything about myself. I did a lot of stupid things that also drew the oppsite effect that I wished. When I held that knife to my heart I could never find the strength to push it through. I would cry out each time asking God why only to receive no answer. It was during this time of truly being lost that I found my spiritual side. Right now I am a Observer of Life watching and trying to learn from others. I may not be a full Christian but understand my faith in God is very strong because of events in my own life.
As full as any of us
Thanks to AHiddenSaint for sharing a bit of your journey with us. I think I know what you mean by not being a "full Christian," but maybe not. Are you saying that the most Christians would not fully accept you and the validity of your faith? If so, that is probably an accurate assessment--but also an unfortunate one. This site exists (I think) to raise awareness that the Christian faith is broader than the religious right and a set of dogmatic beliefs that seek to exclude rather than embrace. So you are as full a Christian as any of us, and I hope your journey will be filled with joy and light.
As full as any of us
Part of the reason why is I've decided to look into the heart and not just the bible as a whole. Sorry it took a while to reply. I forgot my password and finially had them send me a new one lol. I also seek understanding of others including different cultures which might mean learning different religious and spiritual views. I do this because my own belief is stable enough that I can learn from others because I see the heart and not the religion that might divide one.
BTW one reason my belief is strong is because of events in my life happen that have allowed me to see a world beyond that which is the norm. When I was younger and during the time in which I almost tried to take my own life I started to develope a spiritual awareness that has grown in time. I can't explain everything that has happen to me and I personally don't understand a lot of it, but I've known for a long time that I might end up dieing because of who I am. The knowledge has allowed me not to fear death, but instead welcome the path I have picked for myself.